The circle of life

Years ago, a fish was born. Ok, it might have been hatched but either way it came into existance. It probably didn't have a name or indeed much of a life but it was a tuna, so it was well looked after and didn't lack much.

Elsewhere, in a seemingly unrelated story, a hen laid some eggs. I think the hen had a name but it was more like a number, "10937.7". (No, really - it did have .7 on the end!) It might have had the luxury of being of the "free range" persuasion but more likely it was cooped up in a ...erm..coop and didn't see any more of those eggs after they rolled away through a maze of complex egg-gathering contraptions.

Meanwhile a cow chews the cud and performs a number of other cow-like activities that I will not elaborate on at this point. Her name is Mildred. Hopefully Mildred has escaped the wrath of the "cow tippers" who can damage a cow's milk for life (so I hear) by the trauma infliced on the poor beast. Speaking of milk, Mildred happens to be in fact a dairy cow, and today is milking day. So along comes the friendly farmer and milky-milky there you go. Mildred-minus-milk carries on the rigours of cow life.

In the dark soil of another, quite possibly distant field, a potato grows. I would be very surprised if it had a name but let's just call him Bob. Well, Bob's been sitting around for a while and it is with some alarm that he hears a rumbling sound as a potato-gathering-device-ok-I'm-not-a-farmer-give-me-a-break came along and wheeched Bob clean out of the ground. I say "clean" because this was one of the state-of-the-art kind that clean the potatoes as they're plucked from the bosom of the earth.

Bob's encounter with the potato plucker was nothing compared to what would happen to him a few days later. You see, he was baked for a while in an oven along with some of his pals, introduced to some butter made with Mildred's milk, some mayonnaise made from 10937.7's eggs and the meat/flesh/edibles of the nameless tuna from Paragraph 1! They were all then promptly carried home and scoffed by me for lunch today, giving me the energy to write a meaningless entry in my blog just now.

It's good to know that your life serves a higher purpose. Isn't it, Bob?