I hate these e-mails.

A friend forwarded me an e-mail this morning. It was one of these ones that makes me want to boke, gag, chunder, ralph and blow chunks all at the same time.

You may have seen one like it before. Here it is in all its fluffiness:

13 Things About You
====================

1. Someone in this world loves you, in some way.
2. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
3. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
4. You mean the world to someone.
5. Without you, someone may not be living.
6. You are special and unique, in your own way.
7. Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.
8. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
9. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.
10.When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.
11.Always remember complements you received, forget about the rude remarks.
12.Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel much better when they know.
13.If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great. If you choose, send this letter to as many people as you care about, you'll brighten up someone's day, and might change their perspective on life, for the better!

~Author Unknown~

You're right, 'Author Unknown'. I'd want to be unknown too if I had written that! Note the obligatory "You suck if you don't forward this to everyone and their dog" sentiment at the end as well. That bugs me too. Do you notice that there's "Unlucky 13" items in the list as well?

The worst one I've seen is:

Don’t ever frown, because you don’t know who’s falling in love with your smile.

What this is really saying is, "Remember - you're not allowed to be real. Be sure to pretend everything's "fine" just in case that special someone is watching."

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about romance but you've got to be real. Seriously, I hate the "plastic smile" mentality.